Do you ever think to yourself: “Do I want to be the person I am now and are going to be”, Because I am asking myself that question quite a lot these days.
One of the questions you always get asked first in school is: What do you want to be when you grow up? And since I was four I have always
said I wanted to be a teacher. And know that I am finally here and I am only two and a half years away from it when everything is going well, I am not really sure if this is the thing I want to be doing the rest of my life.
I am not really sure if I want to become the person I am developing right now. And the biggest thing in that is that I don’t know if I want to be working in the section I am studying right now. I am feeling that I am loosing a bit of interest in it when I am in school. But then when I am at my placement school I just love to be there and I really like to give lessons to the children and being the person in front of the classroom teaching the kids new things they do not know yet. But I am not sure if I want to pursue this job I am going to have when I graduate forever. I also love to do something with music. I really like singing and I would also love to do something with that.
I just feel like I am in a conflict between the mind and the heart. And a lot of people are always saying that following your own heart is better than your mind, but I feel like that is not always possible. Sometimes following your own mind is a better Idea than your own heart. Especially in the society we are in right now. There is in my opinion no time to fail. Because if you fail you will get behind society and it will be a hell of work to get back in the race. So following the mind is maybe better now?!
It is that I know in my mind what I want to be and I know in my heart what I want to be, but I just can not picture it in my future right now. I can’t get that picture in the society we are in right now.
So I just follow my mind on this one this time until I have the courage and confidence to follow my heart.
And I know for sure I will find the courage and the confidence one time in my life to finally follow my heart. The thing people always say you should follow, even if it is not the easiest thing in the beginning.
But for now I sign off.
SoZing stops Zinging x